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Post by drayco90 on Jan 10, 2007 20:08:50 GMT -5
can i post one about robot chicken. i dont care about you awnser here it is. ;D this guy dies and goes up to heaven. he meets god who hands him a large book. god: this is the book of your life the man flips trough the book man: its blank? god:ask it a question and it will awnser. man:how many days have i lived gives a low number for an amount of days Man:how many hours is that? book awnsers God:ASK THE BOOK SOMETING USEFULL. like how many people have i made smile or how many people have i made happy man:those are stupid questions. how much percent of my life have i spend pooping 85 man: if i made a wall of it all how big would it be? 30 ft. long 35 ft. high Man: how many floors of the empire state building would i be able to fill 19 (OR SOMETHING CLOSE) god:thats it u go to he77 so the man is sitting in a pot in u no were with satan Satan: 3F FEET!!!  Man: 35 feet  lol |
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Post by The Melee Master on Mar 18, 2007 17:15:25 GMT -5
Carlton: *Speaking into his tape recorder* Carlton's log. My cousin has finally lost his nerves. I, on the other hand, have the strength of a thousand men.
Will: Will's log. *Pulls a tree branch off the ground* is about to connect with Carlton's head!
-Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
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Post by ganondorf2 on Mar 18, 2007 17:32:17 GMT -5
"Everybody lies." -from Dr. Gregory House of House M.D.
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Post by The Melee Master on Mar 18, 2007 17:57:32 GMT -5
Will: Yo, Carlton, people are complaining there ain't no bacon on the BLT's!
Carlton: Read the d*mn sign!
Will: Bread, lettuce and tomato!
-Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
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Post by ganondorf2 on Mar 18, 2007 18:00:24 GMT -5
"You can think I'm wrong, but that's no reason to quit thinking." -Dr. Gregory House of House M. D.
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Post by The Melee Master on Mar 18, 2007 18:10:20 GMT -5
Will: O.K., Miss Banks. You were the former tenant of the aforementioned poolhouse. Is that correct?
Hilary: Yes.
Will: O.K., could you please tell us of your experiences there?
Hilary: Am I under oath?
Judge: Of course.
Hilary: Well, Trevor would come over at about 3:00 in the morning and we would-
Will, Uncle Phil, and Carlton: Objection!!
-Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
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Post by ganondorf2 on Mar 18, 2007 18:14:15 GMT -5
"Nobel invented dynamite. I won't accept his blood money." -Dr. Gregory House of House M.D.
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Post by The Melee Master on Mar 18, 2007 18:16:38 GMT -5
Hilary: What kind of idiot picks a password no one can guess?
-Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
((I'm just going through a list of quotes from the show. That's why it's the same))
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Post by ganondorf2 on Mar 18, 2007 18:19:51 GMT -5
(Same here and this is long)
Dr. Gregory House: You bastard. You invited my parents to dinner.
Dr. Wilson: Geez, Cameron's got a big mouth.
Dr. Gregory House: Ha! Not as big as yours.
Dr. Wilson: Hey, you used me to avoid seeing your parents.
Dr. Gregory House: Well, what do you care?
Dr. Wilson: I don't. I just thought it might be interesting to find out why.
Dr. Gregory House: You could have just asked.
Dr. Wilson: You would have lied.
Dr. Gregory House: And you would have believed me. Which would have kept us both happy. Do you want your money back, is that what this is about?
Dr. Wilson: No! Wait, what? Have you got the money?
[House starts to write check]
Dr. Wilson: If you have the money, then why did you need the loan?
Dr. Gregory House: I didn't. I just wanted to see if you'd give it to me. I've been borrowing increasing amounts ever since you lent me forty dollars a year ago. A little experiment to see where you'd draw the line.
Dr. Wilson: You're - you're trying to objectively measure how much I value our friendship?
Dr. Gregory House: That's five grand, you've got nothing to be ashamed of. So what do you say, one little phone call, one big check?
Dr. Wilson: Fine.
[takes check]
Dr. Wilson: Thanks.
[gets in car]
Dr. Wilson: Now, be a grownup and either tell mommy and daddy you don't want to see them or I'm picking you up at 7:00 for dinner.
Dr. Gregory House: What do you mean? You just said...
Dr. Wilson: I lied. I've been lying to you in increasing amounts ever since I told you you look good unshaved a year ago. It's a little experiment, you know, to see where you'd draw the line.
-House M.D.
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Post by The Melee Master on Mar 18, 2007 18:23:01 GMT -5
Uncle Phil: Geoffrey, go fetch me my tools.
Geoffrey: You mean your knife and fork?
-Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
((Will and Geoffrey always makes fun of Phil's size! It's really funny!!))
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Post by ganondorf2 on Mar 18, 2007 18:30:13 GMT -5
Stacy Warner: If I thought you were capable of listening, I'd shut up.
Dr. Gregory House: That makes no sense at all. -House M.D.
(House always gives everybody a hard time...I like that.)
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Post by The Melee Master on Mar 18, 2007 18:33:49 GMT -5
Geoffrey: (after being told to go upstairs and look for Carlton) "...Run, Geoffrey. ...Fetch, Geoffrey. (turns to the family) Perhaps you'd like me to catch a frisbee with my teeth!"
-Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
((Geoffrey is known for his sarcasam toward the family, which makes him very funny!))
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Post by ganondorf2 on Mar 18, 2007 18:38:09 GMT -5
Stacy Warner: I need to talk to you.
Dr. Gregory House: From the doorway?
Stacy Warner: It's confidential.
Dr. Gregory House: Cool. I love gossip.
-House M.D.
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Post by The Melee Master on Mar 18, 2007 18:41:34 GMT -5
Philip (using Will in an exercise to teach him how to handle things when he is with Lisa and he sees attractive women): We're walking down Rodeo Drive. You be Vivian.
Will (Making fun of Phil's size while badly imitating Vivian): Oh jeez, Philip. You be pushing me all off the sidewalk.
Philip: Oh, for God's sake, Will. Will you please be my wife?!
(Geoffrey walks in and mishears thinking Philip is asking Will's hand in marriage and in a panic, walks away)
Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
((I swear, I was laughing very hard when I saw that for the first time!!))
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Post by ganondorf2 on Mar 18, 2007 18:44:28 GMT -5
Dr. Cameron: [outraged] You pulled my medical records?
Dr. Gregory House: You coughed the other day, I was concerned.
Dr. Cameron: You were curious. Like an eight year old boy with a puzzle that's just a little too grown up for him to figure out.
[stalks off]
Dr. Gregory House: To-MAY-to, to-MAH-to...
-House M.D.
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Post by The Melee Master on Mar 20, 2007 14:54:13 GMT -5
(Danny is hit with Ember's love spell)
Sam: Wait. I know that look. That's that same longing, puppy dog stare you give Paulina.
Danny: Who's Paulina?
Sam: That's a pleasant side effect.
-Danny Phantom episode: Fanning the Flames
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Post by ganondorf2 on Mar 20, 2007 15:50:05 GMT -5
Dr. Gregory House: Why are you doing this?
Dr. Cameron: I'm not doing anything.
Dr. Gregory House: You're manipulating everyone.
Dr. Cameron: People... dismiss me. Because I'm a woman, because I'm pretty, because I'm not agressive. My opinions shouldn't be rejected just because people don't like me.
Dr. Gregory House: They like you. Everyone likes you.
[he starts to walk away]
Dr. Cameron: Do you?
[pause]
Dr. Cameron: I have to know.
Dr. Gregory House: No.
Dr. Cameron: [smiles quietly] Okay. ~House M.D.
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Post by The Melee Master on Mar 26, 2007 22:57:26 GMT -5
Will is about to kiss Kathleen when the ground starts moving because of an aftershock from an earthquake earlier. Will pushes Kathleen out of the way and goes under the table.
Kathleen: Will you come back here?
Will: **Shakes his head**
Kathleen: Why not?
Will: Everytime I come near you, the ground starts moving! I just want to get back to Philly, where the ground stays still, and the people move!
-Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
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Post by ganondorf2 on Mar 27, 2007 16:19:32 GMT -5
Dr. Eric Foreman: I think your argument is specious.
Dr. Gregory House: I think your tie is ugly.
~House M.D.(I think it's funny myself)
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Post by The Melee Master on May 18, 2007 22:54:44 GMT -5
Tsume: If we don't find anything to eat soon, we can always eat each other.
Hige: Aw gross! I'm not a cannibal!!
Tsume: We'll start with little Toboe since he's the weakess, then there's porky Hige over there!
Toboe: Hey, come Kiba isn't on the menu?!
Tsume: Because the guy is totally full of crap!
Kiba: *Glares at Tsume*
-Toboe, Tsume, Hige, and Kiba, from Wolf's Rain
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Post by chaostro101 on May 21, 2007 5:40:17 GMT -5
"One time I was laying in my twin sized bed, wondering where my brother was."-Mitch Hedberg
"One time there was a yogurt contest that was going on, and I didn't know anything about it.So I opened a can of yogurt, and under the lid it said "Try again".So I thought 'Maybe I opened it wrong, and it's telling me to try again'.But then I thought 'Wait a sec, what if this is a sign saying that I need to rethink my life?Don't give up Mitchel, try again!Your friends from yoplait:Yogurt on the bottom, hope on top."-Mitch Hedberg
"One time I was in a grocery store reading a magazine and the clerk said,"This ain't a library!".So I said,"Ok, I will talk louder then."-Mitch Hedberg
"I have been drinking orange juice with vodka, it's like vitamin C that kicks your a**."-Mitch Hedberg
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Post by ganondorf2 on May 21, 2007 14:07:06 GMT -5
Hero's Spirit: A sword wields no strength unless the hand that holds it has courage.
~Hero's spirit in Twilight Princess.
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Post by chaostro101 on May 22, 2007 14:10:06 GMT -5
"Violets are blue, roses are red....we're comming aboard, prepare to eat lead."-Mandy from the Grim Adventures Of Billy and Mandy
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Post by The Melee Master on Jun 3, 2007 2:18:22 GMT -5
Drunka-Lunkas: Grunka-Lunka-Dunka-Dee-Darmedguards-
Bender: Shut the hell up!
-Futurama
((Believe it or not, that part made me laugh))
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Post by Shadow Dragon on Jun 3, 2007 2:31:44 GMT -5
{What are you doing up so late?}
Bowen: Dreams die hard and you hold them in your hand long after they have turned to dust.
-Dragon Heart
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Post by The Melee Master on Jun 3, 2007 2:37:32 GMT -5
((Not tired.))
**Draco is towing Bowen through the air by a cable attached to his leg**
Bowen: You can't fly forever!
Draco: Neither can you!
Bowen: Slow down!!!
Draco: Come, visit the woods!
**Draco flys over the tree canopy, dragging Bowen through the trees**
Draco: Look out!
**Bowen narrowly avoids a tree... **
Draco: Well done!
**... and crashes into the next one**
Draco: Ooh! Pity, that must have hurt!
Bowen: Yeah!
**Another crash**
Draco: Again!
**Yet another crash**
Draco: And again! How do you like the ride so far?
-Draco and Bowen from Dragon Heart
((Man I LOVE this movie!!))
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Post by Shadow Dragon on Jun 3, 2007 2:40:00 GMT -5
{So do I! I own the DVD. But...what happens to Draco at the end of the movie still makes me kinda sad, though}
[Kara stands in the middle of the village, shouting while the villagers throw fruit and rotten vegetables at her]
Kara: Throw off the yoke of Einon's oppression! We must begin to fight back!
Hewe: Your father sung that same tune years ago, and we all suffered for it! We'll not listen to it again!
Kara: No, Hewe, just cringe like a dog under Einon's boot!
Hewe: At least a cringing dog's a live one!
-Dragon Heart
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Post by ganondorf2 on Jun 7, 2007 16:11:19 GMT -5
Frostmire:It was good talking with you sir....but I have to go, see you soon!
*Frostmire left*
Xemnas:That was interesting....
Ganondorf: What do you think of him?
Xemnas:Hard to say...he seems to have a hotshot attitude...but other than that, he seems to be a great worker.
Ganondorf: Actually long ago he had a bad temper, but he had help on that.
Xemnas:He had help?That's great.
Ganondorf: I have a bit of a bad temper myself...but only if made fun of. Dev used to tick me off a lot because of my nose...
Xemnas:Why?What was wrong with it?
Dev:It was the size of an A-Bomb!
Ganondorf flinshed.
Ganondorf*angry*: Is it any wonder I don't murder him....
Dev:I said it was the size of an A-Bomb. Now it's the size of a pea shooter.
Dev is sent flying when he got hit by a large boulder.
Ganondorf cleaned his hands of dust.
Ganondorf: See what I have to put up with? ~Smashnet: Battle Arena
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Post by The Melee Master on Jun 26, 2007 23:17:54 GMT -5
*Snowing while lost in the woods without camping equipment*
Uncle Phil: This is a good time for us to ban together to show what were made of.
Will: Does Bigfoot have to come down here with a chainsaw before you realize we're in trouble!?
-Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
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Post by chaostro101 on Jul 7, 2007 23:45:14 GMT -5
Frylock:I just used that toy steak to get you excited about your real dinner....this celery stock.
*Places some celery on the table*
Meatwad:Well it ain't working, not unless you get me some wing scauce.
Frylock:*Hands meatwad a slice of lemon*How about a twist of lemon?
Meatwad:*Cutting Frylock off and slamming the table from anger*How about'a twist of I gouge your mother f***ing eyes out?!Bring me the d**n wing scauce!!
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Meatwad and Frylock from Aqua Teen Hunger Force
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